Bomb Russia!

I think we should declare war on Russia. Fuck Iraq and Afghanistan. This is a conventional war that we actually have a shot at winning.

Hate to Rain on Your Barbeque…

We live in a world ruled by warring lunatics. Our rulers want us to believe that, if we put our faith in them, that they will keep us safe. They do this and the people excuse them. The United States has fought many “wars”. We get the grade-school education that these wars were fought for our freedom. When the truth is most of the wars our leaders have thrown us in have not been for freedom at all. Many fit into one or more of the same categories: money/land, religious/political ideology. The difference between now and the past is that more and more “spin” is being placed on history than there used to be. The War of 1812 was all about money. The Revolutionary War was about money/land. The Seminole Wars were all about land. When the Americans (nee British) performed their invasion of North America over 300 years ago no one was proclaiming that we would be greeted as liberators.

Another feature about wars of the past is that the “common” person seemed to have more of an involvement with the war than they do now. They lived on the land (or wanted to colonize the land) being fought over. They paid the tariffs being fought against. They owned the slaves and were willing to fight for their God-given right to keep them (back then Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness were apparently reserved for whites only). In modern wars that connection is lost. The cold war, Vietnam, the Iraq War: what’s that got do do with us? That’s where spin comes in. But basically there is this blanket word “freedom” which seems to bring even the most stern of skeptics to tears every time. “Dammit, we’re fighting for freedom. Let’s go to war!” And although on the outset it’s ambiguous, it seems to be enough to justify just about every war, on either side. There are just as many warring parties fighting for freedom as there are fighting against it. It’s gotten to the point that the word “freedom” has been so oft used and abused as to become meaningless. As is also the case with “support our troops”, a thinly-veiled assertion to “support their war”.

All those who should be put in control, those whose talents are more on the lines of creating things than destroying them, are put on the back burner. Perhaps they should be in control, but when someone goes on all the time about how your “freedoms” are being threatened and they’re here to protect them, or when someone waves an AK-47 in your face then it’s hard not to listen. Actions speak louder than words and threats, actions without acting, are the loudest.

So the next time someone abuses the word “freedom” a little to much, ask yourself what that person has/can do outside of war to make you feel more free, and if you’re having a hard time coming up with anything, ask yourself what it is that person’s motivations really are.

Thugs & Porn Actresses

One of my biggest peeves is women who go around in public with those pants with writing across their asses. I mean if it’s not the most disgusting sluttiest thing I’ve ever seen. And to believe some women are so critical of men who treat them like sex objects. Bitch, you got “Pink Taco” stitched across your ass. What the fuck do you expect me to do comment on your mastery of trigonometry?

I should walk around with pants with writing across the crotch that says “Let me coat your sugar walls with a fresh load of paint” but I’m certain a lot of people would be offended by that. And it’s likely that it violates some law or another. I don’t really have a lot of room for all that text anyway. But apparently “Pink Taco” on a woman’s ass is fine.

I had cereal for dinner. I had pizza for breakfast. I took a nap for lunch. That’s pretty much it. I imagined having sex with someone. I imagined arguing with someone. No… that was real I think. But the sex was imaginary, I think. Sometimes it’s difficult to tell. Who could possibly tell the difference anymore. When I’m in bed and I’m half asleep and the radio is on it’s like I’m there. Like I’m half dreaming and in the dream I’m experiencing the things that go on on the radio. The thing is my radio is tuned to public radio and it’s mostly news so as my thoughts flow in and out of consciousness I’m being blown to bits by IEDs, going down in plane crashes, take performance-enhancing drugs and acquire AIDS from being raped by my father’s fishing buddy. Occasionally I will wake in a cold sweat.

I’m seriously starting to doubt my own intelligence. I mean all my life people have been telling me I’m smart. But I just have a hard time seeing it. I really don’t think of myself as smart because I see so many other people who are smarter than me. I think what’s at issue is that the people I hang around are all fucking idiots. So to them I must seem like some fucking Einstein. It’s like that movie Idiocracy. I’m just a normal guy in a sea of retards. If only I could convince the real smart people that I’m one of them…

Google has been a pain in the ass lately. I mean I use to champion Google because they use Linux and seem to not be afraid of open source and stuff. But lately two things have really made me lose faith in them. The second thing was their intention to acquire DoubleClick. DoubleClick is a piece of Internet enema. DoubleClick is my enemy and therefore Google is my enemy. The first thing is the whole YouTube purchase. I hate YouTube too. 90% of the shit on there is useless. The only time I ever go there is to watch some news footage that I missed on television or some footage that television doesn’t have the balls to air… or air their balls.. whatever. Anyway now YouTube is getting sued left and right. I don’t even feel sorry for them. They have no defense either in my opinion. I mean they can say that they can’t filter stuff, but it’s obvious they can. I’ve gone to YouTube plenty of times looking for porn and I can’t find none anywhere. You’d think that a site that big, with everyone and their mother trying to get seen, that there ought to be a lot of homegrown porn on that site. But it’s nowhere to be seen. Someone has to be filtering that shit. And if they can filter porn then they can filter copywritten material. So fuck Gargle/AssTube/DoubleDick. I hope they crash and burn!

I’d better go now. It’s past my bed time and my medication is wearing off.

An Open Letter to the IRS

Dear Internal Revenue Service:

I’d wipe my ass with your Tax Code, but I could do so for a lifetime and die before running out of paper. Now I don’t mind paying my part to contribute to the day-to-day, but you and I both know that current tax laws are complex, unfair, and just plain fucked up.

You tax my middle-class ass every chance you get, while big shots and corporations get off easy. Because success means excess, you reward the few while punishing the masses. And as we speak there are whore ass single-mother nappy-headed ho’s getting deductions and tax discounts because they have four children by three different fathers. How about giving a break to those who know how to use some fucking birth control? Why don’t you allow me to itemize my used condoms? Because we all know the whore mothers you give the breaks to are having kids that need to be schooled and fed and given some kind of health care, and when they grow older they have to be put into state institutions of incarceration and who the fuck is paying for that? Not their welfare asses! It’s people like me. So give me a fucking break why don’t you?!

As I write you this piss-stained check, think about the people who pay the most. It’s not quite right is it, and you know it, but neither I nor you have the power to change it. So we just accept it. It’s all just a game where we already know who the winners and the losers are. Just follow the rules and no one gets hurt. I think your brothers the FBI call it extortion. You guys call it Form 1040.

Fuck you all,
Deryl

Don Imus: so what?

So I have been out of town, AFK, and otherwise disconnected from the outside world which I pretend to care about when I turned on the radio news this morning and kept hearing about this “Don Imus” thing. I’d never heard of Don Imus, but the way they were describing things on the news I was expecting to hear something “interesting”.

I pointed my browser to YouTube and listened to the stuff everyone was talking about. I listened and listened. I was waiting for the punch line. Imus said something about “nappy headed ho’s”. It was such an unfunny joke that I almost overlooked it. I waited for more but that was pretty much it. And I’m thinking “people are getting upset about that?” I’ve heard black people say much worse things about themselves. This was nothing. I mean come the fuck on. Was the news that slow that that’s the best thing they would find to fill? I’ve never heard Imus before, but the news broadcasts says he’s joked like that before and, to be honest, I think if a more well-known shock jock, ahem, Mr. Stern, had said the same thing then it would have gone virtually unnoticed.

To me, Don Imus is a second-rate unfunny nobody that people all-of-the sudden jumped on because he said something that black people say all the time but I guess he’s not allowed to because he’s white. Same thing with the “N” word. Listen up niggers: if you don’t want to hear white people talk that way about you then don’t talk that way about yourselves… now take your nappy headed ho asses and play some basketball!

untitled

I woke up pretty much around 4 this morning.  It was warm last night so I had turned on the air conditioning, but I guess it was too low because I was freezing my ass of this morning.  It was hard to get myself to get ready for work.  I really didn’t feel like going to work.  I felt like I’d rather be tortured in Iraq or something.

When I got to work it was pretty much what I thought.  The morning started out slow. The coffee in the break room was horrible.  Tasted like something that’s been hanging out of my ass for three days.  I couldn’t drink it.   So now, at 8 p.m. I’m finally having my cup of coffee, which means I probably won’t get much sleep tonight…

The first half of they day was spent working mostly on a project my boss had put me on.  The told me this morning, for the first time, that she was expecting for me to have it finished today.  That was news to me.  Then, when I got it done this afternoon she decided she didn’t want to go through with it today so it got pushed to next Wednesday.  I was kinda pissed about that, but even more pissed when I later discovered that what I thought I had finished was done wrong so I have to start the whole thing over anyway.

My friend… Joe called and left me a message  He said he had talked with someone from an open source company that was looking to hire someone.  I called Joe back this evening and found out the job is located in Tennessee.  No thanks.  I’m trying to get out of the South.  I’ve been in Texas for ten years and have come to understand that native Texans don’t particularly like us “Yankees”.  Yankee.  Usually when you tell someone you’re from the North East that’s the first thing they say.  Sorry dude, that war was over long before I was born.  I’ve never heard north easterners refer to people from the South as Confederates.  I don’t think some southerners got over the fact that the war is over and they lost.  I suppose if they had their way I’d be picking their tobacco right now.

For the most part I was in a bad mood today until I talked to Joe this evening.  It was nice to talk to a friendly face.  We hadn’t talked in a while now that we work at different jobs and live in different parts of the country.  I haven’t really had a best friend since I was in college, but Joe certainly came close to being one.  He mentioned that it’s up to me to figure out what I want in life.  I know that, it’s just that right now I have no desire/motivation.  Well, for a while there was Nao, but she’s gone.  Besides, I can’t depend on another person for my happiness.  I don’t know if I can be happy though.  I don’t think I’ve ever been, so it’s difficult to imagine.  A lot of the time it feels like it’s too late to learn what it is.

Change is difficult.

Sunny and Warm

I slept most of the day.  Last night I took four sleeping pills. It was good because I didn’t wake up at 4:00 in the morning.  I woke up to my alarm, but was still very tired, so I took a nap.  I woke up a bit before 8:00.  I knew I was too tired to work, maybe even too tired to drive, so I called in sick.

I woke up again around noon.  When I turned on the radio I learned that the Democrats won big and Donald Rumsfeld was resigning.  I thought the world had turned upside down.

I went out to lunch.  It was warm and sunny today (around 84°).  I tried not to pay attention to the couples at the restaurant.  I think now I’m mostly over Nao.  It didn’t take long.  I guess because we haven’t known each other long (5 months) and we only really met once.  Right now I’m more disappointed that I’m alone than that she broke my heart.

It’ll take her two months to find another guy, if she hasn’t already.  That’s what happens to all the women I lose.  After they leave me they go right back into another relationship.  With… Christina she was pregnant and getting married before the ink was dry.  With me it can take a year before I even go on another date. I never was the chick magnet…

I sent in my resume today to an open source company.  I’ve been getting emails and phone calls from recruiters, but they all have East Indian names/accents.  Are we outsourcing recruiters now too?  Most of them I can’t understand because of their accents.  I never call them back.

I haven’t taken my Lexapro (yet) because I don’t feel like feeling sick. I probably won’t be able to sleep much tonight.