The Girls Here are Ugly

No, seriously. I never saw a higher concentration of ugly chicks. I’m not saying that to be sexist or anything like that. I mean for all I know the guys are ugly too. I just don’t know because I don’t look at guys that way. But for the girls: there must be some kind of skank magnet or something around here. It’s disturbing.

I wish they all could be California girls.

The Price is Right for Dummies

I heard on the radio last week that this week they were going to air the final episode of The Price is Right. I didn’t even know that show was still on! I remember growing up with that show on… When I was a little kid not even in school yet. I grew up on The Price is Right and soap operas because that’s what my mother always watched.

Skip 30 years ahead. I decided I’d record and watch the final episode. I was kinda shocked when I saw it. It was like going back in time. Hardly anything changed. The studio looked the same. They still used the same cheesy 70s colors (well, I guess they are more pastels now). The games are the same. The contestants are still super-charged, ultra-hyper people you swear they must have done some PCP before going on the show. I don’t think I could ever be that excited about anything. Bob Barker was pretty much the same, though obviously he has aged.

The only real difference, and this is internal, between seeing the show 30 years ago and seeing the show now is the models. When I was a kid I didn’t really pay attention to the models much, but watching the show now I was like “Damn! Does the blond come with the Vette?” It definitely add something to the overall entertainment value.

The kicker was in the end the lady won a Corvette and in the showcase session won a Cadillac XLR. She was a tad plump so I don’t even know if she would fit in those cars but that’s a pretty nice combo.

Altogether, the final episode wasn’t anything exciting. It was pretty much the same kind of show I’ve seen decades ago. Kinda makes you wonder who actually still watches that show.

Farmers Branch’s Finest

How come it is whenever I’m driving through a small backwards ass town I get stopped by the cops? I decided to go on a Sunday drive at around twilight. I had turned onto Valley View because I had never been on that road before going through Farmers Branch, a small deteriorating poor degraded nothing hole north of Dallas who’s best known for harrassing mexicans taking a stand on illegal immigration.

So I’m driving through Farmers Branch being sure to abide by the speed limits because I did have a couple of drinks a few hours earlier. I did see a cop SUV going the opposite direction. It made a U-turn and the next thing I know I’m being lit up. So I’m thinking WTF. I wasn’t speeding. Did I have a busted headlight? I pulled over. An obviously bored Farmers Branch police officer with a God complex and apparently pissed because the last donut shop in Farmers Branch just closed comes to inform me that the registered, insured vehicle, that he would never be able to afford on his cop salary, lacked a license plate in the front. Now I had heard rumor that Texas required vehicles to have license plates on the front and rear of the vehicle, but I wasn’t exactly certain. I have seen cars with and without the plates in the front. In addition I have been driving in the glorious state of Texas for 8 years without every being pulled over for no plates in the front. There isn’t even a place in the front of my car for putting a license plate. But today, because I’m driving though this piece-of-shit town for a few minutes and this cop has nothing better to do he pulls me over.

Dude takes my license and goes to his vehicle, apparently to run a check on me to make sure I didn’t have any warrants or stolen my car or butt raped his sister wife. When he didn’t find anything on me he let me go with a warning. I pretty much took his warning to mean “don’t drive through my loser town again with a nice car, nigger.” So I’ll take his warning into consideration and will never drive through, patronize, advocate, or otherwise acknowledge his moronic substandard suburb again.

BTW, on Valley View there is no valley and no view, just unamused Farmers Branch police officers looking to give someone a hard time. If you don’t want any trouble, make sure your travelling through with a fresh box of Krispy Kreme.

An Inconvenient Question…

So if I wipe my ass with recycled tea bags will that reduce my carbon footprint?

Some people never shut up.

This year child car seats will look like bird cages…

So the days actually go by faster since I left my job. I’m not as bored as I was at work. I can sleep anytime I want. I can watch television if I want. I can browse the Internet without fear of getting in trouble. I can masturbate during my lunch break.

I had lunch with DL2 yesterday. Since I quit my job she’s all-of-the-sudden talking to me again. I think she feels sorry for me. Poor Deryl.

UPS left a note at my door today. I got a package but not sure from who.

Last night I saw one of the most depressing movies I’d seen in a while,
The Dead Girl
. Well, with a title like that I guess it’s kinda obvious it’s not trying to compete with, say, Happy Feet . Anyway, I loved it. I love sad movies. I love sad songs too. I’m so sad. Right now I’m watching Stranger Than Fiction

I wanna have sex with Maggie Gyllenhaal. I’d do her brother too.

So what shall be my first entry?

I guess the primary thought on my mind these days is my relationship with… I’ll call her Nao.  Nao and I met on the Internet (surprise) about five months ago.  She lives in North Carolina.  I’m in Texas.  We met for the first time last weekend.  I flew down there for the weekend.  We had what I thought was a really good time.